Consider it a Challenge.

I love challenges. I love the feeling of accomplishing a challenge. I'm not always great at accomplishing a particular challenge (ie- finishing my nephew's scrapbook by his 1st or 2nd birthday)- but I love the feeling just the same. I choose the name "challenge" over "chore" or "daunting task" just because it makes it more exciting and adventurous. Well, I haven't given myself a new challenge ever since I cut going out to eat and pedicures from my life. So it's time for a new one.

This latest challenge was sparked by an email from a good friend yesterday. The email had a link to an article titled: "8 Drugs Doctors would Never Take". Well what do you know, but the first drug listed was Advair; my joy, security blanket, purple-disked best friend and life-sustainer. Well duh, of course a drug has side-effects, especially one that you inhale directly into your lungs so that you can breathe. But what drug doesn't have negative effects. It wasn't until I researched further into Advair that I learned how scary the drug really is. I won't bore you with my 65-page research and findings, but I can summarize: Advair is killing people in the U.S. and Canada. The medicine, over time, can prevent the bronchial tubes from properly retracting during a serious asthma attack. Yikes. According to several websites I viewed, the FDA claims that the death-count is not high enough to take the drug off the shelves. Double-Yikes. One death is enough for me! Time to do something about this.

My challenge now is to wien myself off all of my asthma medications, particularly the ones that I take daily to prevent an attack. But where do I start?

I first tried quitting cold turkey. Advair is inhaled every 12 hours. I generally take my puffs at 9 am and 9 pm. At about 9:03 am, three minutes after I'd made my resolution to quit, I started getting dizzy and gasping for air. I made it 3 1/2 minutes.

Time to consult my good friend google. (He's my second-best friend after Advair.) The results that I found were shocking. I am here to share with you, real life articles that people have written, claiming that they have found a way to "Cure their asthma naturally":

1. "I have one solution. Breathe in a load of dust and make sure it's a load because if it's just a little it will kill you. Listen to me. Go hoover our bedroom and with the dust, you chug it down. The overload of dust will straighten the lungs. Use dust or clay."

Insert photo of my gravestone here.

2. "This is my personal account of curing my asthma by deliberately infesting myself with the intestinal parasite hookworm. It involves a great deal of research, a trip to Cameroon and a lot of barefoot walking in open air latrines in West Africa. It worked."

Copy/paste gravestone picture.

3. "Here are my steps to curing asthma naturally. First and foremost, you absolutely have to give up all processed foods and animal products such as meat, milk, eggs...Secondly, DO NOT CONSUME LIQUIDS WITH YOUR MEALS AT ANY TIME..."

Wien myself off of meat: 6-9 months. Wien myself off of processed foods, 12-18 months. Wien myself off of milk, eggs...you get the point. I suppose that this will help me in my saving money challenge.

4. "I know a guy who was kicked out of the south African army because his asthma was so bad. When he started smoking weed, it cleared up."

Goodbye Advair and stunning IQ.

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As you can see, the internet was very little help. Looks like I'm going to have to go the old-fashioned route and consult my doctor. Although he (and all others) are the ones who put me in this place.

You cannot wein your body off of anything- food, alcohol, cigarettes, Advair...without the help of a support system. I am so lucky that my husband has agreed to do whatever it takes to help me through this... minus catching me a hookworm or lighting up my pipe.